Set your holiday table, folks. The Oscars are coming!

As usual, we're here to help you navigate the obstacle course that is The Oscar Menu. You can always play it easy--think a bowl of goldfish for The Shape of Water, peaches and cream gummies for Call Me By Your Name, and hot tea for Get Out--but that's not as fun as attempting a couture creation of your own a la Reynolds Woodcock.

Read on for drinks, desserts and the requisite cheese plate(s). Happy feasting!

Cocktails

Kaluuya's Kahlúa

(via Half Baked Harvest)

Save this one for dessert if you like, but we won't. Better to get the party started with a touch of caffeine and a sugar rush.

This one goes out to the underrated star of Get Out, Daniel Kaluuya, who makes a layered performance look easy in one of the most terrifying and true films of 2017.

Pro tip: serve in a teacup and stir loudly with a spoon to hypnotize your guests. Then, if you're white, ask yourself what you're doing to dismantle white supremacy. Whatever the answer is, do more.

Churchill's Johnnie Walker Red

As we saw this year in Darkest Hour, Winston Churchill had a taste for finer, alcoholic things. That said, overconsumption was not his game. Churchill typically poured a splash or two of whisky in a glass, filled the rest with water and sipped the concoction throughout the day. His go-to whisky? Johnnie Walker Red.

Turns out pacing yourself is key, whether you're a world leader or you're just a civilian with a 4+ hour awards ceremony ahead of you.

Appetizers

The Shape of Watercress Egg Salad

(via Lavender and Lovage)

Shout out to Sally Hawkins, who once again shows us in The Shape of Water that it pays to find the beauty in the everyday, even when that day turns bizarre. (see also Happy-Go-Lucky, Paddington et al.)

Alternate name for this dish: Water Monster-ed Eggs.

Three Cheeseboards outside Ebbing, Missouri

There's more to Missouri than discount billboards and small-town politics.

There's also cheese!

A proposition: if Martin McDonagh is so eager to explore the emotional landscape of America, as he attempts to do in Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri, he's going to get hungry.

Good thing American cheese does not disappoint. Try anything from Baetje Farms or Green Dirt Farm, both of which make cheese the old-fashioned way in the heart of the Show Me State.

Entree

Baked Fish & Chips

(via the New York Times)

Christopher Nolan's WWII opus Dunkirk depicts the evacuation of the beaches at Dunkirk from the perspective of British soldiers on land, sea, and air. So what better way to honor the film than with the classic British pairing of land and sea - fish and chips.

This one doesn't require a vat of oil, so it's friendly for the home cook.

Sides

Phantom Bread Mushroom Tartines

(via Smitten Kitchen)

A couture creation for the hungry boy (just don't butter your toast too loudly). Pair with a Phantom thREaD wine (see below).

California Red + Wafers

If you're eating your meal in any sort of traditional order it's time to reassess your alcohol intake and, likely, intake more. We're paying homage to Lady Bird here with a California red wine and Catholic school wafer crisps.

Scoop up the rest of that cheese with some 34 Degrees and glug it down with the pride of Sacramento. You'll be legs-up-the-wall-of-the-church in no time.

Desserts

Elio's Peach Cookies

(via Tastemade)

Italian Peach Cookies (or Pesche Dolci) have a rich history, much like same-sex romance, whether the history books admit it or not.

While these delectable and precious morsels don't have *quite* the same cream filling as in Call Me By Your Name (too far?), they're still pretty sensuous.

Enjoy! ;)