What follows is a hypothetical scenario in which we are Academy voters who commit the ultimate sin of showing you our completed ballots. Never mind that ballots were due several days ago - we're professional procrastinators.

Note: Like many Oscar voters, we could go through the motions of voting in all 24 races, but, for the sake of honesty (and what we hope the real voters practice), we'll abstain from the categories where we have yet to see all the nominees. So no Animated Feature (though Inside Out might get a vote from us anyway), Foreign Film (where we'd possibly cast a vote each for Son of Saul and Mustang), or Documentary Short.

BEST PICTURE

The cream of the crop is voted on by a preferential ballot where voters are instructed to rank all the nominees for Best Picture in the order of their personal preference. While this means one could, in effect, vote against a particular film by placing it lower on their ballot, the system is in place to gauge overall support for the top films. Here's what it looks like for us:

Matt

1. Spotlight
2. Mad Max: Fury Road
3. Room
4. Brooklyn
5. The Martian
6. The Big Short
7. Bridge of Spies
8. The Revenant

Spotlight was my #1 film of 2015, and the first five choices above were all among the best fifteen movies last year, according to me, so this is a good group. Naturally, then, it's looking like the actual winner may be my least favorite of the bunch.

Nathan

1. Mad Max: Fury Road
2. Spotlight
3. Room
4. Brooklyn
5. The Big Short
6. The Revenant
7. The Martian
8. Bridge of Spies

Both Mad Max and Spotlight made my top ten list this year, with Room and Brooklyn falling close behind. Would have left the nominees at that myself, save for a healthy portion of Carol.

BEST DIRECTOR

Matt

Lenny Abrahamson (Room)
Alejandro G. Iñárritu (The Revenant)
Tom McCarthy (Spotlight)
Adam McKay (The Big Short)
*George Miller (Mad Max: Fury Road)

Tom McCarthy doesn't get enough credit for how well he directed Spotlight, but, despite my love for his film, McCarthy pales next to Miller's towering achievement.

Nathan

Lenny Abrahamson (Room)
Alejandro G. Iñárritu (The Revenant)
Tom McCarthy (Spotlight)
Adam McKay (The Big Short)
*George Miller (Mad Max: Fury Road)

BEST ACTOR

Matt

Bryan Cranston (Trumbo)
*Matt Damon (The Martian)
Leonardo DiCaprio (The Revenant)
Michael Fassbender (Steve Jobs)
Eddie Redmayne (The Danish Girl)

Damon and Fassbender are the only two I would consider. It's close between them, but I'd ultimately side with the effortless charisma Damon exuded in carrying and elevating his film.

Nathan

Bryan Cranston (Trumbo)
Matt Damon (The Martian)
Leonardo DiCaprio (The Revenant)
*Michael Fassbender (Steve Jobs)
Eddie Redmayne (The Danish Girl)

What a sad set of nominees. Fassbender does adequate work in Steve Jobs, so he gets my vote.

BEST ACTRESS

Matt

Cate Blanchett (Carol)
Brie Larson (Room)
Jennifer Lawrence (Joy)
*Charlotte Rampling (45 Years)
Saoirse Ronan (Brooklyn)

With the exception of Lawrence, who is a good actress in an ill-suited role in a bad film, this is a fantastic line-up. Truly, any of the other four would (and will) make a fantastic winner, but it's narrowly Rampling for me.

Nathan

Cate Blanchett (Carol)
*Brie Larson (Room)
Jennifer Lawrence (Joy)
Charlotte Rampling (45 Years)
Saoirse Ronan (Brooklyn)

She shares a name with one of the greats. (Cheeses, I mean.) Need I say more?

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Matt

Christian Bale (The Big Short)
Tom Hardy (The Revenant)
Mark Ruffalo (Spotlight)
Mark Rylance (Bridge of Spies)
*Sylvester Stallone (Creed)

Color me shocked. I have immense respect or even love for the other four actors, though none is giving their best performance, or even the best performance in their respective films - Stallone is.

Nathan

Christian Bale (The Big Short)
*Tom Hardy (The Revenant)
Mark Ruffalo (Spotlight)
Mark Rylance (Bridge of Spies)
Sylvester Stallone (Creed)

As it was last year, this category is rather lackluster. Tom Hardy takes it for me by giving a performance that wasn't too much of a performance.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Matt

Jennifer Jason Leigh (The Hateful Eight)
Rooney Mara (Carol)
Rachel McAdams (Spotlight)
Alicia Vikander (The Danish Girl)
*Kate Winslet (Steve Jobs)

Mara & Vikander are disqualified from this category in my eyes due to the leading nature of their roles (otherwise Mara would take it). I love McAdams, though Winslet is the clear choice here.

Nathan

Jennifer Jason Leigh (The Hateful Eight)
Rooney Mara (Carol)
Rachel McAdams (Spotlight)
Alicia Vikander (The Danish Girl)
*Kate Winslet (Steve Jobs)

I agree with Matt. Imagine that!

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Matt

Bridge of Spies
Ex Machina
Inside Out
*Spotlight
Straight Outta Compton

Nathan

Bridge of Spies
Ex Machina
*Inside Out
Spotlight
Straight Outta Compton

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

Matt

The Big Short
Brooklyn
*Carol
The Martian
Room

A wonderful set of nominees - I have trouble singling out just one.

Nathan

The Big Short
Brooklyn
Carol
The Martian
*Room

Haven't read the book, but promise if I were an Academy voter I would have.

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE

Matt

*Amy
Cartel Land
The Look of Silence
What Happened, Miss Simone?
Winter on Fire: Ukraine's Fight for Freedom

Nathan

Amy
Cartel Land
*The Look of Silence
What Happened, Miss Simone?
Winter on Fire: Ukraine's Fight for Freedom

My number one movie of the year, The Look of Silence, spun an elegy for the dead out of the silence of the living. See this movie. And while you're at it see the rest of the nominees, too.

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

Matt

Carol
The Hateful Eight
Mad Max: Fury Road
The Revenant
*Sicario

Each film is impeccably shot and worthy of praise, so I'd throw my support behind the still Oscar-less Roger Deakins and his lensing of Sicario (which is also narrowly my favorite cinematography of the bunch).

Nathan

Carol
The Hateful Eight
Mad Max: Fury Road
The Revenant
*Sicario

BEST FILM EDITING

Matt

The Big Short
*Mad Max: Fury Road
The Revenant
Spotlight
Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Nathan

The Big Short
*Mad Max: Fury Road
The Revenant
Spotlight
Star Wars: The Force Awakens

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN

Matt

Bridge of Spies
The Danish Girl
*Mad Max: Fury Road
The Martian
The Revenant

Nathan

Bridge of Spies
The Danish Girl
*Mad Max: Fury Road
The Martian
The Revenant

BEST COSTUME DESIGN

Matt

*Carol
Cinderella
The Danish Girl
Mad Max: Fury Road
The Revenant

Nathan

Carol
Cinderella
The Danish Girl
*Mad Max: Fury Road
The Revenant

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE

Matt

Bridge of Spies
*Carol
The Hateful Eight
Sicario
Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Super close for me between Carol and Sicario, so I'd flip a coin. Today it was Carol.

Nathan

Bridge of Spies
Carol
The Hateful Eight
*Sicario
Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Alternative title for this award: Most Anxiety-Inducing Score.

BEST ORIGINAL SONG

Matt

*"Earned It" (Fifty Shades of Grey)
"Manta Ray" (Racing Extinction)
"Simple Song #3" (Youth)
"Til It Happens To You" (The Hunting Ground)
"Writing's On the Wall" (Spectre)

No question.

Nathan

"Earned It" (Fifty Shades of Grey)
"Manta Ray" (Racing Extinction)
"Simple Song #3" (Youth)
"Til It Happens To You" (The Hunting Ground)
"Writing's On the Wall" (Spectre)

Abstaining here, since I've seen only one of the nominated films.

BEST MAKEUP & HAIRSTYLING

Matt

*Mad Max: Fury Road
The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the
Window & Disappeared
The Revenant

Nathan

*Mad Max: Fury Road
The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the
Window & Disappeared
The Revenant

BEST SOUND MIXING

Matt

Bridge of Spies
*Mad Max: Fury Road
The Martian
The Revenant
Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Nathan

Bridge of Spies
*Mad Max: Fury Road
The Martian
The Revenant
Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Go big or go home.

BEST SOUND EDITING

Matt

*Mad Max: Fury Road
The Martian
The Revenant
Sicario
Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Nathan

Mad Max: Fury Road
The Martian
The Revenant
*Sicario
Star Wars: The Force Awakens

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

Matt

Ex Machina
*Mad Max: Fury Road
The Martian
The Revenant
Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Nathan

*Ex Machina
Mad Max: Fury Road
The Martian
The Revenant
Star Wars: The Force Awakens

BEST SHORT FILM - LIVE ACTION

Matt

Ave Maria
Day One
Everything Will Be Okay (Alles Wird Gut)
Shok
*Stutterer

I do think Everything Will Be Okay is the best of the five, but it's my ballot, and Stutterer was my favorite.

Nathan

Ave Maria
Day One
*Everything Will Be Okay (Alles Wird Gut)
Shok
Stutterer

Everything Will Be Okay stunned me. First time a short has made my year-end top ten list.